Read pride and prejudice and vampires by P.J. Jones Online

pride-and-prejudice-and-vampires

PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly diPJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth. If you are ready to take a jaunt through low-brow inane prose, join Elizabeth Bennet and her vampire family as they disgrace a once-esteemed novel while feasting on toad-faced suitors, servants and orphans. Mmmmm. Thank goodness for Mr. Darcy, who tries to steer Elizabeth back on script, and preserve whatever dignity is left of Jane Austen’s good name, while at the same time, salivating over Elizabeth Bennet’s huge breasts.Included in this shameless satire is more rip-snortin’ good fun, a collection of eight short paranormal parodies: The Guide to Immortal Sex; The PMS Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie Handbook; Melvin the Vacuum Salesman Zombie; and a few other nameless, tasteless short stories. What are you waiting for? Either buy the book or get out now before you suffer permanent brain damage. *** Praise for Pride and Prejudice and Vampires ***From Jane Austen: This book motivated me to return from beyond the veil of mortality so that I might smack PJ Jones upside the head.From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book. From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read. From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house....

Title : pride and prejudice and vampires
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 16098466
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 113 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

pride and prejudice and vampires Reviews

  • JMarcy
    2018-11-15 13:58

    I love parodies, as I do love to laugh, and this book delivered in buckets. Definitely not for purists of either P&P or Twilight (sparkling vampires are so derided in this). Pure laugh out loud escapist enjoyment! Based on the teaser chapters at the end, I even bought another of the author's books.

  • Brian Bigelow
    2018-11-22 11:50

    OMG, this book is a riot. Can't say I've laughed as hard as I am while reading this one. Of course my sense of humor can be a little coarse at times. On top of it, this book is well written and edited.

  • Doreen
    2018-11-28 18:09

    I shouldn't laugh - but I did. I loved the snarky remarks about sparkly vampires and stick-thin actresses, and who hasn't wanted to rip off Mr Collins' and Lady Catherine's heads?

  • Teresa Williams
    2018-11-27 18:01

    Parody? I can't say I actually read this book, though I did try. I just paged through the majority of it. The author says it is a parody, and makes fun of his\her writing, but still..... The only reason I got it was because there was a movie made of it, I thought, and it was free. Don't waste your time.

  • Cassia
    2018-11-17 13:16

    I like prequels, sequels, variations of Pride & Prejudice of whatever kind, if they offer good prose and credible settings. This parody doesn't.The idea of Regency England full of vampires - Elizabeth Bennet being the most fierce and foul-mouthed of them - is amusing. Exhilarating having the Bennet sisters swaring like sailors, but why do they have to think and talk like contemporary chits? A contemporary setting would have more sense.The novella is also episodic. There is a sequence of scenes, more than a real plot and the finale is quite abrupt.One of the less interesting reading of 2016 so far.

  • Leslie
    2018-12-10 17:59

    Warning this book would be rated MALVS or NC-17 or adults only.And it requires a sense of humor and an appreciation of Pride and Prejudice as well as a loathing of all things Twilight.It is hysterical, stupidly, snarkily hysterical. If you are an immature, snarky, non easily offended adult who has read a lot of P&P you will like this book. Everyone else should avoid it you will just be offended, angry or shocked.

  • Marie
    2018-11-24 15:58

    It made me laugh, but don't pay money for it. it is poorly written, crass humor. Sparkly was funny once. Boobs shown off in Empire dresses--funny once. Overall, the jokes were repetitive and the book lame.

  • Deb Roby
    2018-12-16 11:59

    Much darker than Austen's book - I somehow expected it to be a fluff piece. The ending was just too dark.

  • Dawn
    2018-11-18 17:02

    definitely not for the faithful P&P fans.

  • Matt Kelland
    2018-12-15 14:08

    I enjoyed this far more than Jane Austen. It's not a good book, or well written, but it made me laugh when I needed some dumb entertainment.

  • Susan
    2018-12-10 17:12

    This was not at all something I would recommend. It's not even a good laugh!

  • Allen
    2018-12-05 17:07

    I have not read any Jane Austen so I guess the parody went over my head.